Pause
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: In the middle of war, Seamus just needs a moment to pause. :: DeanSeamus


Everywhere he looked, Hogwarts was crumbling. All he had to do was turn his head, and he would he a classroom he recognised – had spent a significant amount of time in – either in flames or in pieces.

It was an odd – impossible, improbably, desperately inappropriate – time and place for him to find himself feeling more ecstatic than he had in a year. The castle was his second home – if anything, he should have been in despair.

But it had been a long time since the castle had been the home it had once been – exactly as long as it had been since he had last seen the face in front of him. Hogwarts had only truly been home because it had held Dean within it, and when he had left, so had the sense of belonging he had always felt in the castle.

It was an utterly idiotic thing, for the two of them to take the steps they'd been shying away for for years here, in the middle of a war zone – but perhaps the most appropriate as well.

"It's been so long," he murmured, barely able to recognise the voice that broke as his own. He's always been able to talk to Dean, but obviously confronting his feelings for the other boy made things a bit different.

"It has," Dean murmured in reply. Unlike him, his voice hadn't changed at all. It was still the same as the one he'd dreamed of for a year. "Seamus," he whispered, taking a step towards him.

"I know," he said, too overwhelmed to think of anything else to say, "I know."

And then suddenly Dean was in his arms, and his head was buried in the taller boy's shoulder. They were in the middle of a battle, a war – it was the most unsuitable time in the world for him to break down.

But he'd had to be strong for so long, and for so many people, and he finally had Dean back.

"I'm guessing your mother doesn't have any idea about all of this," Dean whispered into his hair. It was so innocuous and out of place that he couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course not," he said. "You know her – even hearing about it all after it's all over…"

"You deciding to help Neville lead the DA?" Dean replied, "Yeah, she's not going to be happy about that." He didn't care – he could hear the pride in Dean's voice, and that was all that he needed. He was sure his mother would find a way to deal with it all.

He had, after all.

"I've missed you so much," he managed to choke out into Dean's shoulder, fighting the tears that suddenly seemed unstoppable. "You should have been here."

Dean just held him. He had always known him better than anyone else in the world – he knew better than to say anything in that moment. There was nothing to say, after all.

To him, Dean had always been safety, and in his arms, he finally felt safe again. Even though Hogwarts was in worse shape than it had been all year, he had never felt as secure as he did then.

"We should probably get back to the fight soon," Dean whispered after a long moment of silence. "I'd rather not be caught off-guard by a Death Eater coming by to check for people."

"I know," he said. "I know. Just – another minute?" He sounded desperate and plaintive, he could hear it in his voice, but he couldn't find it within himself to feel ashamed about it. He'd survived more than anyone his age should have had to, and he deserved this moment.

(Dean had survived worse, he knew that, but Dean had always been the stronger one. He'd always been the one who could adapt, and he had always been the most comfortable on familiar ground.

The past year had been the furthest thing away from familiar ground that he could think of, and without Dean then to help him cope, it had been all the more worse for him.)

Dean was right; he knew that. They needed to get back to the battle – they were needed, and besides, it would be a harder fight if they were forced on the defensive unexpectedly instead of being the ones on the attack. But he needed this moment, with Dean in his arms and he in Dean's.

Hogwarts burned down around him, and he in some part of his brain he could hear curses and spells hitting flesh, bone, wood and stone, but even with all of that, there was nothing that could divert his attention away from Dean.

"I love you," he whispered, closing his eyes and taking a last deep breath. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Dean whispered back. And then he pulled away, grabbed his hand tight, and pulled him back into the world.

And they might have been walking back into a war, but he knew that now that he had Dean's hand back in his, there was no chance that he was letting go. Not for anything.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I thought it would really interesting to explore Seamus' mindset about being thrust into what was obviously a co-leadership role with Neville once Ginny and Luna were gone during book 7. It definitely wouldn't have been easy, especially since unlike the other three, he wasn't part of the Ministry attack and wasn't prepared for the attack on Hogwarts during book 6. He would definitely have been most like a fish out of water from all of them, and I found that intriguing. And I loved the idea of Seamus breaking down from the stress at a supremely inconvenient moment, and having to deal with that fact too - all the while processing the fact that he finally has Dean back, and has someone to lean on instead of having to be the guy others depend on for support.  
><strong>**Anyhow, I hope you guys liked it! As always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)**

**For the Hunger Games: Fanfic Style Competition, using the word, emotion, dialogue, pairing and weapon prompts.**


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